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Your Body is Powerful. Use it as an Instrument, Not an Ornament.



Our research points to one particularly awesome way to experience real empowerment, decrease self-consciousness, and embrace your body as your own – not as a decoration for everyone else to gawk at.

It is through the power of your body.

… But not the way the rest of the world tells you your body is powerful. We are constantly sold the lie that makeup, weight loss, new clothes, cosmetic surgery, etc., are empowering for women. The thing is, they’re not. We’re confusing “empowerment” with “feeling beautiful” or, more specifically, “feeling like other people think we look good.” Empowerment has to be so much more dynamic and encompassing than that. “Power” cannot be minimized to something that is gained and wielded through appearance or beauty. “Power” from beauty is cheap. It is fleeting and can be consumed and discarded at any moment. Your power isn’t just in your beauty; it’s in who you are and what you do. It is in your physical power – the power to be, and do, and live, and move.


The fact that you have a body — regardless of your appearance or ability level — means that you innately have access to physical power. Your body is an instrument to be used for your benefit, and not a burden to drag around, hiding and fixing along the way. Want to develop positive body image? When you learn to value your body for what it can do rather than what it looks like, you improve your body image and gain a more powerful sense of control. The truth is, regardless of what you look like, or what you think you look like, you can feel good about yourself because you are not your appearance.

Value your body for what it can do by engaging in physical activity. It will change your life and boost your body image in a way you never thought possible.

instrument-not-ornament-br-tribalHealth and body image experts teach that you can resist the soul-sucking place of constant self-consciousness by participating in non-aesthetically-focused sports (like competitive team sports, rather than activities that rely on the way you look while participating) and other kinds of physical activity. (Read about the problem with objectification in dance, cheer, and pageants here.) Three Harvard women’s rugby players are speaking our language on this piece about how physical activity is the most empowering thing you can do for your self-esteem. Let’s just quote a bit of their genius:

“Loving one’s body is an inherently political act. Maintaining pride in having a body that is ‘too big,’ ‘too small,’ or ‘not ideal’ is a political statement against the many voices that tell us our bodies are problematic. Mainstream culture normalizes the flawless bodies that dominate every kind of mass media… At home, girls are taught to cross their legs in public and take up as little physical space as possible. They are taught that being beautiful is much more valuable than being smart and strong. Magazines preach the gospel of constant diet and exercise to achieve ‘bikini bodies’ that are meant to lounge poolside and be gazed upon. It is a true testament to the misogyny of our culture that women are encouraged to whittle away their bodies and maintain postures that make them as unobtrusive as possible.”

So how do we fight against the all-out war against us and our bodies? Physical activity. Physical activity is shown to lead to body satisfaction when girls develop an appreciation of what their bodies can do, rather than how they appear to others. When women exercise to increase their fitness, rather than to improve physical appearance, they are more likely to feel positively toward their bodies. So, exercise! Play sports! Use your body as an instrument to experience life, and enjoy fantastic health benefits like increased cardiovascular health, improved blood sugar, lowered cholesterol, healthy blood pressure, and countless other internal health benefits in the process.

The Harvard Women’s Rugby team encourages you to consider their sport as a route to positive body image. Here’s why:

“Rugby is a source of empowerment. Women players are taught to use the strength of their bodies in ways they had never even conceived. Where society appreciates the meek timidity that is supposed to accompany female beauty, rugby encourages women to be a dominating presence—fearless in pursuit of her goals. …The ten separate rugby positions provide every kind of physique the opportunity to play a role on the field—tall, short, broad-shouldered, curvy, thick-legged, tiny. Each girl uses her unique strengths to make a significant contribution to the team.

…Imagine the relief of taking a breath of fresh air after being drowned for so long in the pressure that society places on women to fit some unrealistic mold. …Although it is extremely difficult to maintain a constant state of positive self-image in our culture, every time a woman celebrates the beauty of her own body or of another woman she is making a political statement. She is saying that she refuses to accept the messages spread by mainstream culture, and she is refusing to accept that her body is only valuable as a visual object.” 

swimmer-white-backgroundLindsay wants you to strongly consider taking up swimming. Here’s why:

After a few years of refusing to wear a swimsuit, our junior year of college Lindsay got an invitation to go cliff-jumping with a bunch of friends. With peer pressure, beautiful weather, and the memory of how much she loved to swim all pushing her to accept the invitation, she very reluctantly did. Here’s what happened: “The feeling I got when I jumped in the water and started swimming across the reservoir is almost indescribable. It sounds so cheesy, but I swear it was almost a spiritual experience. I felt incredible, and powerful, and was still a strong swimmer after all those years, and no one gagged when they saw me in a swimsuit. By throwing aside the fear of being invited to “be seen” in a swimsuit, I gave myself an opportunity for wonderful change. Without confronting my shame, I would never have experienced the overwhelming fulfillment of swimming again. The results of that decision have been life-changing. Seriously. Since that day 7 years ago, I have not missed an opportunity to go swimming. I regularly swim laps for exercise and some of my happiest memories of the past several years include fun summer days in the water. Use your body as an instrument – you’ll be so happy you did.”

excercise-white-backgroundI, Lexie, want to put in a plug for walking, jogging, or running:

A couple years ago, I was talked into running two different half marathons and I was terrified – not only is running really hard physically and mentally, but I was possibly more terrified of being looked at while running. I spent the first few weeks on a treadmill at my gym, so self-conscious that my face got really red and that people might be looking at me. I felt self-conscious that I wasn’t wearing the right outfits for running. (Is spandex a necessity?!?!) I felt self-conscious that the runners next to me were going faster and farther. But as I trained and built up my endurance, something inside me changed. Instead of picturing myself running, I started just running. I stopped worrying about being a good vision of me and I gave myself all of me instead. Running now makes me feel really happy because I can set a goal and get there, and working toward that goal allows me to release all those happy endorphins, feel more energy and motivation, and see what my body is capable of. 

For more first-hand accounts of bR fans who found positive body image through volleyball, weightlifting, biking, etc., click this button: 

More experiences with physical power

Mirror DecalIf you’ve held yourself back from running, biking, swimming, etc., because you felt self-conscious about what to wear, how much you “jiggle,” how red and sweaty you get, (the list goes on), it’s time to set a goal and fight to achieve it!  Make this goal about your abilities and you’ll be much less inclined to worry about what you look like doing it. Run a certain distance without stopping. Swim a bunch of laps faster than ever before. Do a certain number of crunches, new dance classes, whatever you can do and enjoy doing.

Use your body as an instrument and you will learn some uplifting truths in action: You are more than a body. You are capable of much more than being looked at. You are not a decoration. Your physical power is not in your appearance; it is in your actions. The world is more beautiful because you are here and it has nothing to do with your looks.

Need more help developing body image resilience that can help you overcome your self-consciousness and be more powerful than ever before? Learn how to recognize harmful ideals, redefine beauty and health, and resist what holds you back from happiness, health, and real empowerment with the Beauty Redefined Body Image Program for girls and women 14+. It is an online, anonymous therapeutic tool that can change your life, designed by Lexie & Lindsay Kite, with PhDs in body image and media.

  1. Bec

    OMG I could have written those words about rugby! That was exactly my experience with that sport. It was such a shift to feel that my big body was GOOD for something! It was the beginning of my return to sport as an adult. I enjoyed kickboxing too – its such a heady thing to feel the power of your body, and it’s not something we as women are encouraged to feel.

  2. Kellie

    Great post. For me, it’s through Yoga. I never thought I could do the poses and avoided it for awhile. I am still doing basic moves because of lower back problems, but I have found so much empowerment doing the yoga poses. I still sometimes compare my body if I attend a class, but the beauty of yoga is you are constantly reminded to center yourself and to think about your intention and gratefulness to your body for how it is moving.

  3. Chris Camene
    Chris Camene07-30-2014

    Great blog! This is so powerful and so relevant to where I am in my fitness journey.

  4. Kiss & Make-up
    Kiss & Make-up08-09-2014

    This was such an inspirational and motivating read. I am usually pretty good with my fitness. My eating though… :-)

  5. Support Freedom
    Support Freedom09-07-2014

    I just do not get it. You tell us to be proud of who we are, we are not defined by what others think, yet you campaign against beautiful women doing what they want to do with their looks and scream it affects all other women. Listen, of all the atrocities happening against women across the world each and every day, you choose to demand others conform to your world view. It is amazing you claim self worth but feel so threatened by what those women do. Focus your energy on the real ailments of the world and let others do as they please within the law. Instead of demanding beautiful women cover up just for you, aid those women who suffer from self loathing. It seems you have your priorities wrong here in a very bad way.

  6. Lynn Chia
    Lynn Chia10-25-2014

    This is such a good article! I’m currently working on a film project that’ll hopefully help more people to come to terms with their bodies and accept the wonderful functional and powerful machine that they have been blessed with!

  7. Krystal

    I felt this way about fencing. A friend offered me free lessons in historical fencing (think renaissance fairs, not olympics) and it sounded interesting, so I decided to give it a go. It is so much fun. Your movements need to be tight, controlled, balanced, and swift. I always felt so strong after practice, plus it was nice to blow off some steam each week by fighting it out. =D

  8. Fabiana Ribeiro do Nascimento
    Fabiana Ribeiro do Nascimento04-13-2015

    This is such an amazing post!!
    I recently had a similar experience with swimming as the one described here. I’ve always struggled with self-esteem, and as I was growing up, I’ve always been in and out of posture-related exercises. Time has passed and I quit swimming for about ten years. Two years ago, I started thinking about it again, remember good memories about how I felt when I was swimming and how it changed me, but I always postponed my visit to the club, either because I was too busy or I couldn’t pay at the time… Those classic excuses we always use.
    So one day I was near the swimming club and I decided to give it a second chance. It is definetely life-changing, I can tell you that. I’ve always been the nerdy girl who ran out of P.E. because I wasn’t atletic enough, and I would never believe myself if someone told me that eventually I’d get addicted to physical activity, but I’m pretty much hooked on all the endorphines, the feeling of motivation and focus that two hours per week offer me. :)

    I hope this post inspire people to go exercise, it’s so good! :)